Avoid Overuse of to be Verbs

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One problem beginning writers share comes from using forms of the verb to be (is, are, was, were, be, being, been). Often, they add clutter to your writing.

For example:
  • Max Ernst was sixty-three and knew madness and death were before him.
  • The sun was setting. The few clouds that were on the horizon were orange.
  • Hemingway's "The Killers" is a story that is dominated by the feeling of impending violence

When you re-read a passage you have written, mark the various forms of to be and see if you can revise the sentence. Usually you'll be able to cut out some unnecessary words and use a stronger verb.

Here are the sample sentences revised:

  • At sixty-three, Max Ernst saw only madness and death lying before him.
  • The setting sun turned the few clouds hanging over the horizon orange.
  • The feeling of impending violence dominated Hemingway's "The Killers."

Now these sentences are direct and clear; moreover, they read quickly.

Now let's look at another example while watching for was and were.

The motorcycles were sweeping into the park like 1000-pound bees. The lead rider was a huge man and was hunched over the handlebars. His face was behind a mirrored visor that was reflecting a miniature and distorted image of the road that was stretching before him.

This is a good piece of description, but it could be shaper. Concentrating on eliminating was and were structures, the writer revised it.

The motorcycles swept into the park like 1000-pound bees. The lead rider, a huge man, hunched over the handlebars. His face was hidden behind a mirrored visor that reflected a miniature and distorted image of the road stretching before him.

The revision reads more quickly and carries more punch. The writer kept one was structure but added hidden to make the sentence stronger. That's fine; after all, I am  not recommending that you restructure every sentence with a form of to be in it. However, I do suggest that you restructure the ones that use it unnecessarily.