Sample Refutation #2

[My annotations are in blue]

Your Name
Professor Swanson
English 100:  ticket #8143
Refutation
Date

Ecstasy and Teenagers in America

Notice that the writer uses the same Definition of the Problem
    John used to be an intelligent, talkative, outgoing young man.  He was
doing very well in his first two years of college, and then slowly he just
began to withdraw from school completely.  He used to call his friends all
the time to go out, and he was a lively energetic person who loved to
experience each day to its fullest.  He had dreams and aspirations of
graduating college with a degree in business.  Presently, John doesn't
attend school anymore.  He doesn't talk to any of his old friends, and he
doesn't experience each day to its fullest anymore.  He is not the same
person he used to be and he probably will never be again.  What has happened
to him is the result of the drug called ecstasy otherwise known as MDMA,
which stands for methylenedioxymethamphetamine. This all happened when John
was first introduced into the "rave" scene.  Raves are like never-ending
parties that last anywhere from 5 hours to 12 hours, sometimes even longer. 

    Raves can be found in just about all locations across the country and are
attended by large numbers of youth, sometimes up to 20,000 people.  A few
aspects that attract people to raves are the hypnotic electronic music,
meeting new people, having fun, and the liberal use of ecstasy.  When John
started going to raves, he eventually began taking ecstasy.  Soon, he became
addicted to both ecstasy and the raves and had the urge to start going every
week.  The dosage of pills he took slowly increased from one pill a month,
to six pills a week.  Eventually, his personality changed and it became hard
for him to concentrate on work, school, and things in general.  It got to
the point where he slept all day and partied all night.  He didn't care
about his life, school or aspirations anymore; all he cared about was the
raves, his "raver" friends, and ecstasy.

    Ecstasy is one of the most popular fastest growing drugs in America today. 
It is easily accessible to teenagers and has grown to be very common not
only among teens in the rave scene, but also suburbs and campuses.  It is
often used at raves and parties because it enables people to dance longer
and remain active for a longer period of time.  Ecstasy comes in the form of
a pill or capsule and is easily ingested, this is one of the reasons it is
so popular because it is very easy and quick to use.  The hypnotizing
effects it produces can cause many to become easily addicted and drawn to
the drug.  The University of Psychiatry is Zurich, Switzerland, has done
research that shows that ecstasy releases dopamine and other chemicals into
the system, and causes the feelings of "good moods" and emotional excitation
(National Library of Public Medicine).  People who have taken ecstasy report
feelings of intimacy, euphoria, well-being, and empathy.  There have also
been studies from the Human Neurological Pathology Laboratory in Toronto,
Canada, which show that levels of seratonin and ketamine were decreased by
50-80% in the brain, which is responsible for much of the brain's memory
(National Library of Public Medicine).

    An important cause that contributes to this problem is the producing of
ecstasy in overseas countries.  Ecstasy is easily made, for pennies on the
dollar, and most of it is made in Europe.  Time magazine reports that a
recent drug seizure at Brussels National Airport, "offered a glimpse at just
how huge and lucrative the export market has become for ecstasy, most of
which is produced in the Netherlands, and Belgium (Time.com)."  Nationwide,
ecstasy seizures this year (almost 3.3 million hits) have increased since
last year (400,000 hits).  Due to the increasing amounts of ecstasy coming
into the U.S., the Customs Service has found the need to create a special
ecstasy command center and is training dogs to detect the drug (Time.com).
Ecstasy can be produced from anywhere form a rundown barn in the country,
to a high scale expensive laboratory.  Usually, manufacturers seek out
abandoned barns or garden sheds in rural areas of the Netherlands or
Belgium, and convert them into ecstasy factories.  Most often, these small
factories are not too far from the airports.  The people that usually
manufacture ecstasy are professional criminals, who usually work with
mobsters who have the distribution networks to move large amounts of pills
across America.  These people are highly drawn to the large profits: after
setup, the cost of each pill is around 10 cents, and then it can be sold in
New York or Los Angeles for $30.  Whatever the case may be, all this just
goes to show that ecstasy has become very much widespread in America today,
and that the drug production in Europe is involving and risking the lives of
teens just like John.

    The solution to this serious problem may be to go right to the source,
which are the laboratories where ecstasy is produced.  I think that our
government should collaborate with governments in Europe to investigate
these labs to shut them down, and also track the lab's connection to the
U.S.  There would have to be a formation of a committee and an involvement
of high powers to be able to do this.  I think that this committee should
not only work with governments in Europe, but also the people of America. 
They should go public and get the message out about how serious the problem
of ecstasy really is.  Parents, teachers, counselors, and teens themselves
should learn exactly what ecstasy is and what it can do to your body.  I
believe that this is a good solution because it would be getting straight to
the source of the problem which is where ecstasy is produced (Europe), and
who, where, and how it is sent to the receivers in the U.S.  This solution
would also involve the people of America, and hopefully get the message to
the teens involved with ecstasy.

Writer offers a counter-argument.

    Although this is explained as a solution to this drug problem, it could be
very expensive and time consuming.  Many people would probably agree that
America's economy isn't doing very well at the moment and the government has
many other important issues to address.  There has been the ongoing conflict
with America and Israel recently, the expensive presidential elections that
have led to trials, and many other world issues.  All of these issues are
very important and understandably, must be taken care of as soon as
possible.

    As the government of America, they are seen as the protectors of our
citizens.  People with high powers are looked up to by many, and probably
seen as intelligent and quick with dealing political issues.  These people
were probably teenagers once and had aspirations of becoming president or
working with the government.  What about our teens today?  They are our
adults of tomorrow.  They are America tomorrow.  With the ongoing use of
ecstasy, there could be serious chances of long-term brain damage.

    The website of the Office of National Drug Control Policy says that among
high school students surveyed in 1999, 5.6% of 12th graders, 4.4% of 10th
graders, and 1.7% of 8th graders have used ecstasy in the past year.  6.8%
of college students and 7.2% of young people ages 19-28 surveyed in 1998
reported that they have used ecstasy at least once in their lives.  
According to the 1998 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, 3.4 million
people have reported using ecstasy at least once in their lives, and the
greatest numbers of users were in the age range of 18-24.  The site reports
that using ecstasy can cause serious psychological and physical damage.  The
psychological effects that can occur are confusion, depression, anxiety, and
paranoia.  These effects can last a few weeks after ingesting ecstasy.  The
physical effects that can occur is muscle breakdown, kidney and
cardiovascular failure, increases in heart rate and blood pressure and
dehydration.  There is recent research findings that show that ecstasy use
can cause long-term damage to parts of the brain that are critical to
thought and memory (ONDCP).

    As I have stated earlier, yes, this solution would be very expensive, but
there are the lives of young people at stake.  This drug is taking over
their minds, minds of which are going to lead America someday.  Ecstasy is
known to slow down the brain, and cause damage to memory, which is very
essential to every human being.  The brain is a magnificent thing, and I
believe it is what the leaders of America rely on.  Something on the news
caught my attention recently; it was on Channel 5 and was about ecstasy.  It
is reported that ecstasy is not just a problem anymore; it has become an
epidemic.  The report also stated that ecstasy use is more popular and has
grown to be more commonly used than marijuana.  If we let this serious
problem go on, what will become of this world tomorrow?

    Whatever side of this issue you choose, it must be kept in mind that the
minds and lives of our young people of America are irreplaceable.  Yes, our
government does have many problems that are critical, and yes this solution
will require a lot of funding.  But I believe that we need to do whatever is
possible to protect these young lives and put an end to this increasing
epidemic.  This problem is very real, and without more efforts to help, the
lives of the many young people of America can and will be in great danger. 
The young people of America today are the adults of America tomorrow, how
can our nation go on without the bright intelligent minds that we are losing
to ecstasy right now?

Although the writing is good above, there are problems with this refutation, which I hope you don’t face.

First, the solution is too general.  The Proposal is weak.  The writer asks everyone from the government to parents to participate in the solution.  As a consequence, nothing will get done.

And the writer does not fully address the cost of such efforts.  This proposal needed specific facts – the dollars and cents of implementing a program.

Finally, the writer doesn’t cite sources in the text.  Again, you need to be sure to see how it gets done:  check chapter 22.

Works Cited

National Library of Public Medicine.  "Psychological and Physiological
Effects of MDMA ("Ecstasy") After Pretreatment with the 5-HT (2) Antagonist
Ketaserin in Healthy Humans" October 23, 2000
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list
_uids=10989266&dopt=Abstract (28 October 2000)

National Library of Medicine.  "Striatal Serotonin is depleted in Brain of a
MDMA User" July 25, 2000
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrz/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list
_uids=10908909&dopt=Abtract(25 October 2000)

Office of the National Drug Control Policy.  "Club Drugs"
Facts and Figures
http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov/drugfact/f_and_f/club/index.html (25
October 2000).

Time.COM  "Its all the Rave" March 20, 2000
http://www.pathfinder.com/time/magazine/articles/0,3266,40316,00.html (24
October 2000).

Updated:  23 September 2005