Domestic Violence Information
Sexual assault is the most common violent crime committed on college campuses in the
United States. It is
often linked with dating/domestic violence and stalking. The highest rates of domestic violence are associated
with college age women and the majority of stalking victims are aged 18-29. It is estimated that male students
comprise about 10% of collegiate sexual assault victims. Nationally, about 400,000 men are stalked each year, and in 2005 almost 80,000 men were abused by a current or former intimate partner. Some student, female and
male, are survivors of childhood abuse and rape.
Any attempt to control the behavior and/or emotions of an intimate partner and diminish or prevent their free choice can constitute domestic abuse. Victims do not cause the abuse, and nothing a victim says or does can excuse the abuse. Abusers bear sole responsibility for their actions.
Am I being abused?
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of race, income, education, gender, sexual orientation, age or religion. If you’re worried that you or a loved one might be involved in an abusive relationship, the resources below can help you.
What Is Domestic Violence?
Contrary to popular myth, domestic violence does NOT need to be physical to be abuse. In truth, domestic violence occurs in many forms. Each is marked by a pattern of power and control.
- Domestic violence can be:
- Physical. This includes (but is not limited to) slapping, hitting, punching, kicking, physical restraint, aggravated assault, and forcing someone to take drugs.
- Emotional. This includes (but is not limited to) extreme displays of jealousy and/or possession, intimidation, blaming you for their problems, degrading and/or disrespectful behavior and comments, withholding communication, social isolation (i.e. preventing you from seeing friends or family), and threats of physical or sexual violence.
- Verbal. This includes (but is not limited to) name-calling; yelling; criticizing your appearance, actions and/or beliefs; humiliating you in public.
- Sexual. This includes (but is not limited to) sexual activity following a physically abusive incident, threats of infidelity, coerced sex acts, and forcible intercourse.
- Reproductive. Sexual. This includes (but is not limited to) includes explicit attempts to impregnate a partner against their will, control outcomes of a pregnancy, coerce a partner to have, and interfere with contraceptive methods and reproductive choices.
- Economic. This includes (but is not limited to) refusing to share control of family finances; destroying, giving away or selling your property without your consent; and using money as a tool to control your behavior or get what they want.
Am I an abuser?
It takes strength to admit that you are abusing your partner. If you really want to change, you can.
Violence is learned behavior. You can unlearn it – but you will only be successful if you can:
- Accept responsibility for the abuse. You cannot blame your actions on your partner, or on drink, drugs, stress or work.
- Accept that the abuse comes from your desire to control your partner. Understand the ways you control her and why you behave like this.
- Realize that you have a choice.
- You choose to be violent or abusive, and you can choose not to be.
- Accept that your partner has a right to live her own life without being dominated and controlled.
- Stop using anger, violence, and other abusive behaviors to control your partner
- Seek help from professionals who can refer you to a perpetrator program
Abuse in a relationship can happen to anyone. It's never ok. It can destroy your self-confidence, have a negative impact on your health and well-being and leave you feeling isolated and lonely.
Some people can be in an abusive relationship without even realizing. Abuse in a relationship is when someone tries to control you, hurt you or force you to do things you don't want to. They can do this in lots of different ways.
Abusive behavior can be:
- violent (hitting, kicking, slapping)
- emotional (humiliating and putting you down)
- sexual (forcing you to do sexual acts you don't want to)
Abusive relationships can start with verbal or emotional abuse and could happen to anyone (including those in same-sex relationships). It can often escalate into physical abuse, by which time your self-esteem is likely to be damaged.
Some warning signs of potential violence and abusive behavior are:
- extreme jealousy
- anger when you want to spend time with your friends
- isolating you from friends and family
- trying to control your life (how you dress, who you hang out with and what you say)
- humiliating you, putting you down
- threatening to harm you or to self-harm if you leave them
- demanding to know where you are all the time
- monitoring your calls and emails, threatening you if you don't respond instantly
- excessive alcohol drinking and drug use
- explosive anger
- using force during an argument
- blaming others for his/her problems or feelings
- being verbally abusive
- threatening behavior towards others
Still not sure? Check out the wheels below.
Resources & Links
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Relationships without it are not normal or acceptable.
If you or your friends are suffering from abuse it's not your fault and support and reporting options are available.
Student Health and Wellness (Confidential Resource)
Community Service Organization Contacts
- Women's Shelter of Long Beach - Domestic Violence Prevention and Support Service. Tatiana S. Dorman, Assoc. Director of Development and Community Relations, (562) 437-7233 ext. 27
- LGBT Center (Long Beach) - services for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Mariel Fiedler; Joel Gemino, Youth Services & Transition Coordinator, (562) 434-4455 ext. 225
- The Safe Place (Anaheim Regional Medical Center) - Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner and Sexual Assault Response Team. Malinda Wheeler, Forensic Nurse Specialist, Director (Los Alamitos), (714) 774-1450
- Long Beach Trauma Recovery Center - Evidence-based trauma treatment and case management for people affected by crime and violence trauma. Norma Vargas, Clinician/Outreach Coordinator, (562) 491-7977
- Native Pathways to Healing - Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program. United American Indian, Inc. Rae Marie Martinez (213) 202-3970 ext. 7132
- TrasLatin@ Coalition
- Disabled Student Programs and Services at Cerritos College
- End Abuse of People with Disabilities
- Stalking - RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
- National Indigenous Women's Resource Center
Angel Step Up (Downey) - crisis intervention, individual and group peer counseling, victim’s compensation assistance, court support and advocacy for LGBTQ domestic violence survivors. Lorilyn Luong, Outreach Coordinator/Victim Advocate, (562) 923-4545 ext. 2255
Reporting on Campus
Dr. Lauren Elan Helsper (562) 860-2451 ext. 2276
Student Health Services (Confidential Resource)
Other College Title IX Coordinators/Representatives
Long Beach City College - Gene Durand
Rio Hondo College - Dr. Jennifer Fernandez (562) 908-3498
Cypress College - Dr. Santanu Bandyopadhyay (714) 484-7330
Fullerton College - Dr. Elaine Lipiz Gonzalez (714) 992-7088